Guitarist Jokes

What do you call a relationship that never works out between guitarists?

No strings attached

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What do you call a guitarist without a girlfriend?

Homeless.

What does a guitarist say when he gets to his gig?

Would you like fries with that?

What's the fastest way to make money as a guitarist?

By selling your guitar.

Why did the guitarist leave his guitar on the ground?

It didn't have any pickups

What's black and blue and laying in a ditch?

A guitarist who'd told too many drummer jokes.

How do you know a guitarist is sad?

They start to fret.

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Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many ADD's does it take to change a light bulb?

Let's go fishing

How did the dollar bill feel when his change started disappearing?

Coincerned

Minor Jokes More Minor Jokes

What's Rolf Harris' favourite chord?

A Minor

Why did the Chemistry Teacher go to Jail?

He got caught giving alcohol to minors.

99 Jokes More 99 Jokes

What has 99 legs and one tooth?

The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

Finger Jokes More Finger Jokes

Why does pushing my finger against a bottle of Pepsi make me sad?

Because it's soda pressing.

What did the booger say to the finger?

Pick on someone your own size.

Fry Jokes More Fry Jokes

How can we build this?

A business major asks, "How can we finance this " A liberal arts major asks, "Do you want fries with that "

How do ghosts like their chicken cooked?

Terri-fried!

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why did Regina George's dog only play keep-away?

Because fetch is not going to happen.

What do auditioning for an acting role and playing sports have in common?

If you break a leg, you get cast

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What do you like to do in your free time?

Guy: I spy on people. Girl: Really I like to take long walks in the park and go to the movies with my friends. Guy: I know.

How do I like eggs?

Ummm...in a cake!

String Jokes More String Jokes

What did the string say to the harp?

No, you're a lyre!

Why didn't the string get anything for Christmas?

Because he was knotty!