Guitarist Jokes

What do you call a relationship that never works out between guitarists?

No strings attached

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What is better than a rose on a guitarist?

Tulips on my pianist.

What do you call a guitarist without a girlfriend?

Homeless.

What does a guitarist say when he gets to his gig?

Would you like fries with that?

What's the fastest way to make money as a guitarist?

By selling your guitar.

Why did the guitarist leave his guitar on the ground?

It didn't have any pickups

Why do guitarists put drumsticks on the dash of their car?

So they can park in the handicapped spot.

What's black and blue and laying in a ditch?

A guitarist who'd told too many drummer jokes.

How do you know a guitarist is sad?

They start to fret.

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What did the head trauma patients do when the price of medicine went up?

They went on stroke.

What will Ryan Lochte say if he looses "Dancing With the Stars"?

I was robbed" Sorry, that just came to me like a stroke of idiotic genius and I couldn't help myself.

String Jokes More String Jokes

What did the string say when the rope proposed marriage?

Let's knot.

What do you call a relationship that never works out between guitarists?

No strings attached

Rise Jokes More Rise Jokes

How do we know that Jesus was made of bread?

Because yeasterday he died and tomorrow he will have risen.

What did the gardener say to the rose?

Hello, bud.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What game do they play at Mexican carnivals?

Guaca-mole!

Why dont Muslims play Dota?

Because techies respawns

Shredder Jokes More Shredder Jokes

Who is the best guitarist in the entire Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles universe?

Shredder.

How does a turtle grate cheese?

Shredder

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

What did I do before Twitter?

Well, there's my family and......OH MY GOD WHERE'S MY FAMILY!!

Why the hate for necromancers?

T They're just trying to raise a family.

99 Jokes More 99 Jokes

What has 99 legs and one tooth?

The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.

How many dub-step artists does it take to clean a bathtub?

100. One to actually clean it, and 99 to talk about how dirty it is.

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

What is a horses number 1 priority when voting?

A stable economy

What has 4 legs and 1 arm?

A pit bull.