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What's black and blue and laying in a ditch?

A guitarist who'd told too many drummer jokes.

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Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

What does an agnostic... dyslexic insomniac do at night?

He lays awake and wonders if there really is a dog.

Why doesn't the guy with OCD ever get laid?

Because when he turns his girlfriend on he has to turn her off again three times.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if someone is having a stroke?

There is lotion and used tissues laying around

How do you get an Aussie to climb up on the roof?

Tell him drinks are on the house.

Guitarist Jokes More Guitarist Jokes

What do you call a guitarist without a girlfriend?

Homeless.

What's the difference between a guitarist and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of four

Ditch Jokes More Ditch Jokes

What did the cow say when she got hit by a car?

Moo." What did the cow saw when she fell into a ditch? "Moo." What did the cow say when she fell onto the electric fence? "Moo." What did the cow say when she got hit by a train? "Why does everything always happen to meeee?" Protip: My dad wrote this joke for me when I was six.

What's green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?

A girl scout that got hit by a car.