Why was Missis Claus mad last night?

Santa came early

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What do you call Santa without toys?

A lost Clause

Where does Santa stash his money?

In a snowbank.

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Why do drummers carry transparent lunchboxes?

So they know if they are going to the gig, or coming from it. Ta-boom!

What did the cannibal's wife give her husband when he came home late for dinner?

A. The cold shoulder.