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Why was Missis Claus mad last night?

Santa came early

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What did Santa say when he had to travel through the desert?

My chestnuts are roasting

What do Nicki Minaj and Santa have in common?

Hoe, hoe, hoe.

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What's worse than a fish in the SS?

In. Man, I did that coming.

What made the vampire a gentlemen?

They would always ask their girlfriend before they came inside.