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Why weren't you at work last week?

Me: Why are you living in the past

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What is black and doesn't work?

Decaffeinated coffee.

How about an app that keeps track of every working automatic paper towel dispenser in the world?

All seven or eight of them.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What do you call a two dentists that live on opposite sides of the world?

Molar opposites.

Where do the Russian separatists go to complain about their lives?

Crimea River

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

Why was Wycleff Jean on L&O this week?

He only promised to be gone until November

What is the capital of the United States?

Half of what it was last week

Past Jokes More Past Jokes

What do you mean I can't change the past?

Logs on to Wikipedia*

Why are there so many women archeologists?

Because they love digging up the past.