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Why weren't you at work last week?

Me: Why are you living in the past

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour?

Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident.

How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?

It only takes one, but we weren't able to get the work done in 1 term because we inherited a really bad situation from the prior administration.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Why don't any pirates live in Kansas?

Because they all live in Kansas.

What artistic dog chews a lot and follows the rules of the farm where it lives?

A Chihuahua that can draw and gnaw while obeying the law and lying on straw!

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

How do you know when you're turning 40?

When your candy jar is filled with Tums..... My wife just came up with that one... Birthday is next week.. Ugh

What did the tiger say to the detective?

I'm not lion. Ill be here all week...

Past Jokes More Past Jokes

Why are there so many Redditor archeologists?

Because loves digging up the past.

Why weren't you at work last week?

Me: Why are you living in the past