Past Jokes

Why are there so many women archaeologists?

Because women love digging up the past.

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Why are there so many Redditor archeologists?

Because loves digging up the past.

What was the ancient language Link needed a book to translate in "A Link to the Past"?

Hyruleglyphics.

What do you call a crocodile/robot sent from the future to save the past?

Termigator (jesus christ this one's even worse than the last)

What do you call presents after you've opened them?

Pasts

Why weren't you at work last week?

Me: Why are you living in the past

Why do so many girls do archaeology degrees?

Because they love digging up the past.

What do you mean I can't change the past?

Logs on to Wikipedia*

What does a cranky Japanese person suffer from?

PAST: Post Atomic Stress Disorder

Why are there so many women archeologists?

Because they love digging up the past.

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Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

Why did the storm trooper decide to buy an iPhone?

Because he couldn't find the right droid he was looking for.

How do cities decide who gets to be in charge of wastewater management?

They hold a runoff election.

Fish Market Jokes More Fish Market Jokes

Why doesn't Elin Nordegren ever shop at the fish market?

Because Tiger is always bringing home crabs!

What did the blind man say when he walked past the fish market?

Is this a tumblr meetup?

Phone Box Jokes More Phone Box Jokes

How do you get 100 Ethiopians in a phone box?

Throw a tin of beans in there..... How do you get them back out of it? Run past with the tin opener.....

What do you call an elephant in a phone box?

Stuck.

Cupboard Jokes More Cupboard Jokes

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

What do you call two lesbians in a cupboard?

A liquor cabinet.

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What is Italian-American foreplay?

Hey! Wake up and roll over!

What's the scariest thing to wake up to in the morning?

Another day.

Paste Jokes More Paste Jokes

Why did people stop printing stamps with photo of Pamela Anderson?

Banta: Because people started licking the wrong side of it for pasting them on the envelopes..

What do you call a fly without wings?

Paste unoriginal joke here)

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Where would an eccentric beverage go if it wanted to watch married couplesfight and read high quality humor columns?

To the Drink Quirks Wed Fight.

Why do tigers have stripes?

They don't want to be spotted.

Dig Jokes More Dig Jokes

What's a necrophilic pirate's favorite activity?

Digging for booty.

What did Kris Kross tell the nervous paratrooper?

Tell her you're a paratrooper. Chicks dig that kind of thing.