What do you call presents after you've opened them?

Pasts

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Present Jokes More Present Jokes

How could you possibly know?

Darth Vader: I felt your presents.

How did SkyMall go bankrupt?

I bought all my wife's birthday presents there before she left me.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

What do you call a man who opens the car door for you?

A chauffeur.

What time does Sean Connery go to the US Open?

Tennish

Past Jokes More Past Jokes

Why are there so many Redditor archeologists?

Because loves digging up the past.

What do you mean I can't change the past?

Logs on to Wikipedia*