What do you call presents after you've opened them?

Pasts

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Present Jokes More Present Jokes

Why did the rope not get any presents?

Because he was knotty.

How do you know when Santa Claus is nearby?

You can feel his presents...

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

What did Serena say to Venus before they faced off in the US Open?

In tennis, love means nothing.

Why is the door to heaven always open?

Because Jesus was born in a barn.

Past Jokes More Past Jokes

What do you mean I can't change the past?

Logs on to Wikipedia*

Why are there so many women archaeologists?

Because women love digging up the past.