Pet Jokes

What happens when you pet a cat in the opposite direction?

You rub them the wrong way

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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What pets think about their owners?

A dog: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... He is God. A cat: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... I am God.

What do you call a Syrian refugee on the Mediterranean?

Bob What does a Syrian refugee call their pet? Dinner What's grosser than gross? Two Syrian refugees fighting over a tampon.

What did the diabetic's girlfriend call him as pet name?

Sweet pee.

What's the difficult part about having a dingo for a pet?

It takes 10 months to give it a good meal

What do you call a TV reality show where a 50 year old white man is trying to get laid?

To catch a predator. Why do white girls walk around in groups of 3 and 5? Because they can't even! Why do white people have so many pets? Because owning people is not legal anymore Would love to hear more white people-specific jokes :) They seem to be really rare.

What did the German Footballer name his pet?

Schweinsteiger.

What's the difference between a headmaster and a poisonous snake?

You can make a pet out of a snake!

Why is polar bear cheap to have as a pet?

It lives on ice!

What's the problem?

Wife: He makes friends with the strangest things Me petting a bee: You're not strange are you Alan

What insect does a neckbeard keep as a pet?

M'ladybug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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How did the dog's owner know his pet was angry about having soap flakes for breakfast?

He foamed at the mouth.

Why did the lazy person buy a tall dog?

So that they didn't have to bend down to pet it.

Why do white people own so many pets?

Because we're not allowed to own people anymore.

What do you get when you put a car and a pet together?

Carpet!

How about pets?

That's fine" dog walks in and lights up "We'll take it"