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What's the problem?

Wife: He makes friends with the strangest things Me petting a bee: You're not strange are you Alan

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What are we going to spend 10 million dollars on?

Asks his wife. "31 black"

What did the peanut say to his wife before he left?

I'll be back in a jiffy

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Why did voldermort used Twitter instead of Facebook?

Because he only had followers. Not friends.

Where're you going?

Me: To dinner with my friends! Mom: Your friends Me: I'm going to use McDonalds' free Wifi to get on twitter...

Problem Jokes More Problem Jokes

What kind of a shoe has a problem?

An issue.

Why is Math always sad?

Because it has too many problems.

Bee Jokes More Bee Jokes

What kind of bee will not take credit for his contributions?

A Humblebee.

What kind of suit does a bee wear to work?

A buzzness suit!

Pet Jokes More Pet Jokes

What's the problem?

Wife: He makes friends with the strangest things Me petting a bee: You're not strange are you Alan

What pets think about their owners?

A dog: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... He is God. A cat: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... I am God.

Alan Jokes More Alan Jokes

Who's there! Alan! Alan who?

Alan a good cause!

Why do you want to work in a bank Alan?

Fred: 'Cuz there's money in it sir.