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How did Jared Fogle lose so much weight?

Because he chose from the kids menu

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his brainpower?

A widower.

What muscle do Egyptian soldiers generally lose control of, shortly before major battles?

The sphinxster....

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

Why was the Pepsi crying while lifting weights?

Because he was soda-pressing

What s the weight of a hipster?

One Insta-gramm

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Why did the aliens choose to not invade and enslave the human race?

Because they're not garbage collectors.

Why does the prosecutor only choose jurors who drive Hummers?

So that there's no chance of a hung jury

Jared Fogle Jokes More Jared Fogle Jokes

Who loves fast food?

Jared Fogle

What did the sheep obsessed convict say to Jared Fogle?

I have a footlong waiting for **ewe** back in my cell!!!!