How did you travel such a distance so fast?

I went through a wormhole." Worms in the audience: Omg this is so unrealistic.

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Travel Jokes More Travel Jokes

What do you call a large vehicle that travels the world serving breakfast?

Universal cereal bus

What travels around the world but stays in one corner?

A stamp.

Distance Jokes More Distance Jokes

Why do you hold your hand flat above your eyes when you look into the distance?

Because when you would cover your eyes with your hand, you wouldn't see sh*t. I'm lame.

What do you call a cross between a skunk, a wolverine, and a porcupine?

Sir" from a distance.

Audience Jokes More Audience Jokes

When are they going to drug test the audience of "The Price Is Right."?

No one should be that happy.

Why is James Bond a terrible motivational speaker?

Because the audiences are shaken, not stirred.