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How do mute people tell each others secrets?

They put on mittens.

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Why can't you tell puns to a kleptomaniac?

Because they take everything literally (p.s. you can steal this joke if you want)

What do you tell someone when you give them a high five?

Here you go:

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What did the mittens say on their wedding day?

I glove you.

What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a cliff?

Nothing, she was wearing mittens.

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What did the mute say to the priest?

Nothing

What's the best part about being a mute?

It goes without saying...