What did the ventriloquist say to their friend?

Nothing. He's mute. I don't even think he's as ventriloquist.

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What do you think of my tweets?

Wife: They're all pretty terrible. Me: Don't you have ANYTHING positive to say Wife: You're consistent.

Why couldn't the physicist understand how boats work?

He thought nothing could possibly travel faster than sea.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What did the seamen say to his friend?

It was a long road, but I ended up coming out a head.

What's the difference between friends and potatoes?

Potatoes don't scream when you peel their skin and toss them in boiling water.

Ventriloquist Jokes More Ventriloquist Jokes

Why is being a politician more difficult than being a ventriloquist?

Ventriloquists have to be able to speak with their mouths closed. Politicians speak out of both sides of their mouths simultaneously.

How does a woman scare a gynecologist?

By becoming a ventriloquist!