What do all my friends and my dad have in common?

I didnt have either growing up

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Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

Dad, can you put my shoes on?

I don't think they'll fit me.

What has four legs and isn't alive?

Son: "nice try, a chair!" Dad: "Nope. Our dog just died."

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What did the sea-world trainer's friend say to him after he spilled water on his friends lap?

You did that on porpoise

Why couldn't the two testes be friends?

Because of the vas deferens.

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them

What if the Bible had a major typo and the Devil was really after our SOIL?

Maybe he just wants to grow some pot plants.