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What do Hillary and Bill have in common?

Both got screwed out of office

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Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

What is a carpenters dream girl?

Flat as a board, skinny as a nail and easy to screw.

What do blondes and turtles have in common?

When they're on their backs, they're screwed.

Bill Jokes More Bill Jokes

How do you stop your water from running?

Stop paying the bill.

Why did Timmy fall off his bike?

Because Bill threw a mattress at him.

Office Jokes More Office Jokes

What did the Office of Admissions say to the recently-accepted Urology student?

Ur-ine!

What did the psychiatrist say when a man wearing nothing but saran wrap walked in to the office?

I can clearly see "you're" nuts....