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What is a carpenters dream girl?

Flat as a board, skinny as a nail and easy to screw.

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Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

What's long and hard and screws people?

An exam.

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two! But don't ask me how they got inside there.

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

What happened when the bike ran over a nail?

It popped a wheelie.

What do you call a Nun that bites her nails?

A bad Habit.

Board Jokes More Board Jokes

Why is Jesus terrible at hockey?

He keeps getting pinned to the boards.

Why doesn't Jesus play hockey anymore?

He kept on getting nailed into the boards.