What do you call a carpenter who needs ...

Whenever I'm in trouble, I think: what would Jesus do?

Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for three days.

Why do the ladies love Jesus?

This joke makes more sense if you can see it in person, but we'll give it a shot, anyway. Use your imagination. Why do the ladies love Jesus? Because he was hung like this!

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Where does the Easter Bunny go when he needs a new tail?

To a re-tail store!

How awful do I look?

Him: You always look beautiful. Me: Do I need to put makeup on Him: Maybe just a... *stare* Him: No.

Carpenter Jokes More Carpenter Jokes

Why don't you ask Joseph, the carpenter?

God: Uh huge grin cos I'm banging his wife raises hand up top

What does a carpenter do after one night stand?

A matching one for the other side of the bed.

What do you call a carpenter who needs fewer nails?