What I say: "Does anyone need anything from the store?

What I mean: "I'm off to smoke a bowl in my car so I can deal with all of you."

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Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed?

Han So-High

What do ducks smoke?

Qwack

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why did the snail draw an "S" on the side of his car?

So that when he drove by people could say, "Look at that escargot!"

What car is so cheap that anyone could purchase it?

A Ford.

Store Jokes More Store Jokes

Where do stoner cars store their weed?

In potholes.

What file does a Knight store his music on?

A MIDI-val file.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What's the difference between America and Saudi Arabia?

You don't need a computer to play minesweeper in Saudi Arabia. (I'm not sorry)

What colour pants do you need to start a vehicle?

Khaki

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What are your expectations?

Me: Job. Interviewer: I mean what do you want from this job Me: Salary

What'd you have for breakfast?

Me: A bowl of Oreos. CW: Lol you mean Cherrios Me: No.

Deal Jokes More Deal Jokes

What did the stressed-out casino worker say to their boss?

I literally cannot deal.

What do banks and the US government have in common?

They both deal with checks and balances.

Bowl Jokes More Bowl Jokes

Why does a pterodactyl always urinate on the side of the bowl?

Because the pee is silent.

What I say: "Does anyone need anything from the store?

What I mean: "I'm off to smoke a bowl in my car so I can deal with all of you."