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What I say: "Does anyone need anything from the store?

What I mean: "I'm off to smoke a bowl in my car so I can deal with all of you."

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Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

Why did the duck get arrested?

Because he was smoking quack!

What do you call a piano composer that smokes?

Tarcoughski

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What kind of cars do shellfish drive?

Mussel cars.

What kind of cars do jedis drive?

A toy-

Store Jokes More Store Jokes

What do people store their fondest memories in?

A nostaljar.

Why is the Adults only store open 24hrs?

Because get off at different times.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How many Mexicans are needed to change a light bulb?

Juan.

Why do I need a wingman?

How's a half-man half-bird freak gonna get me laid

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What is meant by 'a pull factor'?

A big red sports car.

Why are terrorists so mean?

Because they don't like Nice people.

Deal Jokes More Deal Jokes

How does Michael J. Fox deal with his Parkinson's disease?

He just shakes it off.

What's the deal with reddit being obsessed about puns?

I've never... META... group of people so obsessed with puns before.. Fine, I'll leave :(:(

Bowl Jokes More Bowl Jokes

Why is a dance like a bowl of cereal?

They are both more enjoyable with dates!

What do you call a black widow trapped in a bowl of noodles?

Natasha Ramenoff