What do you call a piece of sandpaper in Syria?

A map.

This joke may have profanity.

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Whose parrot sits on his shoulder shouting "Pieces of four"?

Short John Silver!

How do pirates like their jigsaws?

In pieces of eight.

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Why are the citizens of Damascus so solemn when talking about oil?

Because it's Syria's business. (cross-post from by request)

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What did they call the man who knew how to read maps?

A legend

What's an accordion good for?

Learning how to fold a map.

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What did the dog say when it sat on a piece of sandpaper?

Ruff!

What do you call sandpaper on fire?

Bernie Sanders