What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?

An ingestigation

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How do we know that Jesus wasn't born in Mexico?

Because he'd never have been able to find 3 wise men and a virgin.

What did the atheist say when he found himself at the Pearly Gates the day he died?

Well I'll be damned!

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What is a blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?

Trying to hold on to a thought.

What was the first treacherous thing said?

Adam you gotta try this!

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What has 4 legs in the morning, two at lunch, and three in the evening?

A cannibal

Why are Canadians given only a half hour for lunch?

They don't want to have to retrain them.