What does an envelope say when you lick it?

Nothing. It just shuts up.

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Lick Jokes More Lick Jokes

What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?

A dog who can lick himself from across the room

Why did the cannibal go to KFC?

He heard it was finger licking good.

Shut Jokes More Shut Jokes

Why could the crab not find a pair of shoes in his size?

Child labor laws forced all the shoe factories to shut down.

What if I sewed myself shut?

Doc: Suture self.

Envelope Jokes More Envelope Jokes

What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied?

Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!

What starts with "E" and has only one letter in it?

Envelope!