Envelope Jokes

What did the stamp say to the envelope?

Stick with me man... We'll go places. Peace. Hmath out.

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What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?

An envelope!

What starts with E, ends with E, and only has one letter in it?

An envelope!

What did the mailman ask his girlfriend?

Will you envelope with me? (I know its Corny, but it makes me chuckle.)

What type of animals are put on envelopes?

Seals.

How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail?

You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive.

Why are envelopes and papers white?

Because blackmail is illegal.

What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day?

I'm stuck on you!

What starts with "E" and has only one letter in it?

Envelope!

What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied?

Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!

What begins with E, ends with E, and has one letter?

Envelope

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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Why did people stop printing stamps with photo of Pamela Anderson?

Banta: Because people started licking the wrong side of it for pasting them on the envelopes..

What does an envelope say when you lick it?

Nothing. It just shuts up.

What 8-letter word has one letter in it?

Envelope.

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Why don't kids like cheesy jokes?

They're too mature for their taste

What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter?

An Envelope EDIT: My deepest Canadian apologies to those who are calling this a riddle. I always took it as a cheesy joke

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What is it called when brown envelopes aren't delivered as quickly as white ones?

White Mail Privilege

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Why didn't Count Dracula get married?

He wanted to remain a bat-chelor.

What do you say when only the egg remains?

It's all ovum now

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Why couldn't prehistoric man send birthday cards?

The stamps kept falling off the rocks!

Why are so many Italian men named Tony?

When they ship them over from the Old Country, they stamp "To N.Y." on them...

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What did one plant say to another when it dropped its camera into the sea?

Photos-in-the-seas!

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Bae-goals

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What did the doctor say when he delivered a blonde-haired baby to an expecting Chinese couple?

Two Wongs don't make a white

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Santa Jaws!

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What do you call the act of press-ganging someone into a monastery?

Force of habit.

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Force of Hobbit.

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Why couldn't the cut down tree answer a riddle?

It was stumped.

Why wouldn't Samus go below Brinstar?

Because she was a-Kraid to. Now I think about it, this joke is a bit more "Riddle-y," than say an actual joke.