Envelope Jokes

What did the stamp say to the envelope?

Stick with me man... We'll go places. Peace. Hmath out.

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What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?

An envelope!

What starts with E, ends with E, and only has one letter in it?

An envelope!

What did the mailman ask his girlfriend?

Will you envelope with me? (I know its Corny, but it makes me chuckle.)

What type of animals are put on envelopes?

Seals.

How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail?

You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive.

Why are envelopes and papers white?

Because blackmail is illegal.

What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day?

I'm stuck on you!

What starts with "E" and has only one letter in it?

Envelope!

What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied?

Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!

What begins with E, ends with E, and has one letter?

Envelope

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Why did people stop printing stamps with photo of Pamela Anderson?

Banta: Because people started licking the wrong side of it for pasting them on the envelopes..

What does an envelope say when you lick it?

Nothing. It just shuts up.

What 8-letter word has one letter in it?

Envelope.

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What did the quadruple amputee say when he couldn't solve the riddle?

I'm stumped.

What's the riddle?

What has a foot but no legs?

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Whats the name of a bodybuilder whose a fan of the X-Men?

Huge Jackman

Why did the man get kicked out of the "Russian" bar?

Because he walked in.

Object Jokes More Object Jokes

What's the difference between a heroine and heroin?

One's an object that's easily abused, the other's a drug.

What do you call the object Attila the Hun uses to brush his leg hair?

A Hun knee comb.

Contain Jokes More Contain Jokes

What do you call a folder on FBI's servers that contains all the intel on known child molesters?

A Pedo File.

How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. Each lightbulb contains the means of its own revolution.

White One Jokes More White One Jokes

What is it called when brown envelopes aren't delivered as quickly as white ones?

White Mail Privilege

How are crayons like people?

The white ones are usually pretty pointless

Paper Jokes More Paper Jokes

What kind of root is only easy to find on paper?

A square one.*

What should we call this portable computer?

SOME GUY: Laptop everyone applauds...w/ tears in my eyes i crumple a paper that says Kneeputer

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

When my wife got her tongue pierced I asked her why?

She said To enhanthe the thektual thimulation.

What did Jared say when the girl asked him for a footlong?

That he only has a 6 inch.

Letter Jokes More Letter Jokes

Why is the letter E lazy?

Because it's always in bed.

Which letter has the best bum?

Big Rs