Photo Jokes

Why can't you e-mail a photo to a Jedi?

Because attachments are forbidden.

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What's the difference between a camera and a foot?

A camera has photos and a foot has five toes. (Told to me by a 9 year old child I work with)

Why was the photo acquitted in his trial at court?

Because he was framed!

What will they now use on photos for LGBT magazines?

An airbroosh

Whats the difference between Jesus and his photo?

It takes only one nail to hang the photo

Why are photos in Latvia always such good quality?

There's no such thing as potato quality there.

How does Big Boss store his photos?

On a Solid Snake Drive 120 gb sorry:

What is the difference between a sock and a camera?

A sock takes five toes and a camera takes photos.

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus???

It only takes one nail to hang a photo

What would the Pilsbury Doughboy be if photos of him were constantly being put on magazine covers?

A roll model.

Where do you see yourself in 10 yrs time?

Same as now - in photos and mirrors," I replied

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Whose funeral was this photo taken at?

John, serious tone: "I dunno. Let's see who's missing" possible funniest thing john has said

What is the difference between a camera and a sock?

One holds photos The other holds five

What did one plant say to another when it dropped its camera into the sea?

Photos-in-the-seas!

Why are you showing me photos?

I'm a dog.

What did the girl say when she saw a photo on Instagram of an attractive couple at brunch?

Bae-goals

Why did people stop printing stamps with photo of Pamela Anderson?

Banta: Because people started licking the wrong side of it for pasting them on the envelopes..

How many photos of Kanye West do you suppose Kanye West has on his phone?

More than 1,000

Why is ur wife shouting at you?

Friend: she told me to upload her photo in FB, I uploaded in OLX... Mistakes do happen

What kind of photos do turtles take?

Shellfies

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How many 2nd trumpets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They can't get that high! (My band teacher told me that one today)

How do you tell the teams apart in Amish women's basketball?

It's skirts versus shins.

Forbid Jokes More Forbid Jokes

What bee is forbidden to the Muslims?

Haram-bee

Why are foodfights forbidden in japanese schools?

The children always end up with lice in their hair.

Photo Albuman Jokes More Photo Albuman Jokes

Where do Eggs keep their holidays pictures?

In a photo albumen...

Where do pregnant chickens keep their ultrascan images?

In a photo albumen. ()/

Isis Member Jokes More Isis Member Jokes

What do you call an ISIS member who loves himself?

A nISISist

What the difference between a ISIS member and a child?

I don't know, I just fly the drones.

Email Jokes More Email Jokes

Why did you burn that building down?

Me: Because they keep sending emails after unsubscribing. Cop: You're free to go.

How do Buddhist monks send emails?

They remove all attachments.

Jedi Jokes More Jedi Jokes

What did the feminist Jedi say to Emperor Palpatine?

Check your privilege, sithlord

Who does a Jedi call when he forgets his keys?

A LockSith.

Throne Jokes More Throne Jokes

What was the first think Queen Elizabeth did on ascending to the throne?

Sat down!

What do radical feminists and Game of Thrones have in common?

All men must die.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a girl and a washer?

The washer doesn't follow you around after you put a load in it.

What is the difference between a clever midget and a venereal disease?

One is a cunning runt, and the other is a running c*nt.