Selfie Jokes

What do you call a theme park where people go to have selfies with chickens?

Pout-ry farm..

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Why don't Buddhists have Instagram?

They don't believe in the concept of a selfie.

What does cheese say to itself when taking a selfie in the mirror?

Hallooooo me!

What do you call a fish that takes a selfie?

Selfish

Why do you look surprised in all your selfies?

Didn't you know you were taking the picture?

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What vegetable needs a plumber?

A leek.

Why did the students need a ladder to get into school?

It was a high school.

English Jokes More English Jokes

What is Black, White and Red all over?

My English Monologue Draft...

What's the different between E.T. and a refugee?

E.T. learned English and wanted to go home

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Which machine at the gym should I use to impress beautiful women?

He pointed outside and said "The ATM machine" c/o /u/jubileo5

What is a banged-up used car?

A car in first-crash condition.

People Jokes More People Jokes

How do people know spiders are more afraid of me than I am of them?

Like, did you ask him Because only one of us is screaming right now.

Why do some people love their VW diesel cars?

Well, it's the official car of the New England Patriots after all.

Pocket Jokes More Pocket Jokes

When you know it is too cold in Bay Area?

When you see the programmer's hands are in their pockets.

Who's there! Chicken! Chicken who?

Chicken your pockets - I think your keys are there!s

Instagram Jokes More Instagram Jokes

Why was the A.I. afraid of instagram?

Post-upload skepticism

What would you like to Instagram?

How waiters should greet people

Cheese Jokes More Cheese Jokes

Where do cheeses go to the bathroom?

In a Parma-John.

What's the difference between a pizza, and this joke?

One has cheese on it, the other's just plain cheesy.

Peter Parker Jokes More Peter Parker Jokes

What does Kevin 11 have that Peter Parker doesn't?

A living Ben and Gwen.

Why does Peter Parker have a shower in his apartment?

He can't get out of a bath.