Selfie Jokes

What do you call a theme park where people go to have selfies with chickens?

Pout-ry farm..

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Why is the iPhone 6 the coolest smart phone around?

Carry it around in your pocket for a while and it'll be on every selfie you take.

What's it called when an isis member takes a selfie?

Photo bombing

Why don't Buddhists have Instagram?

They don't believe in the concept of a selfie.

What does cheese say to itself when taking a selfie in the mirror?

Hallooooo me!

What do you call a fish that takes a selfie?

Selfish

Why do you look surprised in all your selfies?

Didn't you know you were taking the picture?

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English Language Jokes More English Language Jokes

What did the verb say when the words have, has, and had were removed from the English language?

"Nobody's perfect!"

What does one call an undertaker that's been drafted into the Military?

A Corpseman. Painfully obvious, yet a terrible play on the English language, I know. It was something I came up with a few years ago, for some unknown reason.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why can't a hand be 12 inches long?

BECAUSE THEN IT WOULD BE A FOOT!

Why did the man break the clock?

He wasn't comfortable with having that much time on his hands.

People Jokes More People Jokes

Who names hurricanes?

Are people actually supposed to be intimidated by something named Sandy?

What do you call a president who interrupts people?

Donald Tr- WRONG!

Carry Jokes More Carry Jokes

What's grey carries a bunch of flowers and cheers you up when your ill?

A get wellephant!

What's pink has five toes and is carried by the Easter Bunny?

His lucky people's foot!

English Jokes More English Jokes

What is the only word in an English dictionary spelled incorrectly?

Incorrectly is the only word spelled I n c o r r e c t l y

What does a terrorist and a cue ball have in common?

The harder you hit them the more English you get.

Self Jokes More Self Jokes

Whos the funniest Disney princess?

RaPUNzel *sits there laughing to self*...so lonely..

Why was Mohamed Ali born a fighter?

In the womb, he used to fight bald clowns. (Self made joke)

Parker Jokes More Parker Jokes

What is the French version of the name Parker?

Valet.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why does Helen Keller play the piano with only one hand?

Because she uses the other one to sing.

What kind of guns do bees use?

BeeBee guns