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What does TTYL mean?

I replied, "Talk to you later". So she responded, "No! Talk to me now! What does it mean "

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Why would my wife ask if I was wearing this shirt when it's already on?

Stop talking in secret code.

How do you pick out the extroverted engineer?

He's the one staring at YOUR feet when he talks

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What's in it?

HIM: What do you mean, "in it"

How was I supposed to know they meant combined?

They really look like adults, especially the 20-years old

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What's worse: ignorance or indifference?

Johnny", responds his dad, " I neither know nor care." Edit: granma grammar.

How can you celebrate Christmas if you don't believe in God?

I responded with, "How can you celebrate Valentine's Day if nobody loves you "

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What have you been doing for it?

She replies, "Snorting pepper."

What products do I use for grooming?

She was a bit taken aback when I replied, "Facebook."