When people say 'oh, you're still single?

I like to reply with 'wow, you're still married ' I'm popular.

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Why don't people drink pig's milk?

Because its a bit too sow...

What did the Australian say to the two people fighting over bread?

It's stalemate

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What do you call an integral that doesn't like derivatives?

An anti-derivative.

What South American dance do cows like to do?

The Rump-a

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How did Sherlock reply to Watson's inquiry, "Sherlock, where did you get all of these lemons?

A lemon tree, my dear Watson.

What products do I use for grooming?

She was a bit taken aback when I replied, "Facebook."