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What if I buried it in the yard?

Me, genuinely, earlier today. Wife said no.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Who loves you more, your wife or your dog?

Lock them both in the trunk of your car for an hour. Guess who is happy to see you when you open the trunk

What is it that you are both most fearful of?

WIFE: I just...sobbing...don't want the kids to suffer ME: Eels

Bury Jokes More Bury Jokes

Why do they bury Germans 20 meters underground?

Because deep down they are really nice.

Why is it illegal for a man living in North Carolina to be buried in South Carolina?

Because he's alive.

Yard Jokes More Yard Jokes

What's the range of an accordion?

Twenty yards if you've got a good arm!

How do you get a unicorn from neighing in your front yard?

Put it in the back yard.