What is simultaneously the best and sh*ttiest way to start your day?

Pooping

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What happens when a neckbeard takes drugs?

They start tipping balls.

How do you find where a flea has bitten you?

Start from scratch!

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

How do you spot a bad boss your first day on the job?

Check his/her pulse. (bitter at the workplace)

What do necrophiliacs get when they wake up on the day of a funeral?

Mourning Wood

Poope Jokes More Poope Jokes

What do you call a conversation between two people who are pooping?

Chit-Shatting

What did the French guy say when a bird pooped on him?

I have Grey Poupon me