What is simultaneously the best and sh*ttiest way to start your day?

Pooping

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What did the Russian people light their houses with before they started using candles?

Electricity.

What is simultaneously the best and sh*ttiest way to start your day?

Pooping

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?

Because then the children have to play inside.

What do you call a turtle who sleeps during the day and is awake at night?

Nocturtle

Poope Jokes More Poope Jokes

Why does pooping get more intense while you're listening to music?

Because it's logarythmic.

What did the otter say to the guy whose ankle he pooped on?

Spraint your ankle!" Just in case: