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What's 18 inches long and never gets used?

Leonardo DiCaprio's acceptance speech.

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What did the boy say when he had trouble using glue?

I'm stuck.

Which hotel does Link use when he goes on vacation?

The HYAT

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What's 18 inches long and never gets used?

Leonardo DiCaprio's acceptance speech.

What is 18 inches long, pink, squishy, and makes women cry?

SIDS

Leonardo Dicaprio Jokes More Leonardo Dicaprio Jokes

What do a common garbage can and Leonardo DiCaprio have in common?

No Oscar!

What's the difference between Leonardo DiCaprio and Sesame Street?

Sesame Street has an Oscar.