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What is 18 inches long, pink, squishy, and makes women cry?

SIDS

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Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

How do you make an orange turn red?

Get John Boehner to cry.

Why did the cheese cry?

It was degrating.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What can I do you for?

Woman: a bottle of wine and cab fare

How do you know he's a peeping tom?

Woman: "When I asked him what he was doing out there, he said 'I was trying to get a Pikachu'".

18 Inch Jokes More 18 Inch Jokes

What is 18 inches long, pink, squishy, and makes women cry?

SIDS

What's 18 inches long and never gets used?

Leonardo DiCaprio's acceptance speech.