What's the difference between a cup and a mug?

Being cupped is far more pleasurable than being mugged

This joke may have profanity.

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What's the difference between a millennial and a mutual fund?

A mutual fund will eventually mature and make money

What's the difference between a Walnut and a Chickpea?

I've never had a Walnut on my chest..

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What's the difference between a biscuit and a monster?

You can dip a biscuit in your tea but a monster is too big to fit in the cup.

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Why did the coffee file a police report?

Because it was mugged.

What did the plate say to the mug?

Food's on me tonight.