What's the difference between herpes and friends?

I don't have any friends.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

If I dump a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around for the next few weeks.

What is the difference between a parrot saying "E equals M C squared" and most people saying it?

Nothing.

Herpe Jokes More Herpe Jokes

How do you make something go viral?

Herpes.

What's the difference between a herpes and jacuzzi?

I let women know that i have a jacuzzi

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Why can't there be some sort of mathematic formula for making friends?

A squadratic formula, if you will.

What should I do?

Me: Court her. Friend: Dude, I don't have any change...