What's the difference between me and my couch?

My couch pulls out.

This joke may have profanity.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

Beer nuts are a dollar twenty five, deer nuts are under a buck

What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu?

For swine flu you need "Oinkment", for bird flu you need "Tweetment".

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

What did the hipster say......when he was told to get off the couch?

Nah-imma-stay

What does a hippy say when you tell him to get off your couch?

Namaste

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What do you call people who use the pull out method as form of birth control?

Parents.

When a cop pulls you over and asks, "Papers?

Answer "Scissors." then drive away..