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What's the quickest way to lose pounds?

The UK National Lottery!

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Why couldn't the pirate learn the alphabet?

Because he was always lost at C!

Why did Brazil lose the World Cup?

Weak back.

Pound Jokes More Pound Jokes

What happens when two dogs breed in a pound?

Dog pound dog pounds dog pound dog.

How much does Nicki Minaj sell security devices for?

Pound an alarm

Quick Way Jokes More Quick Way Jokes

What's the quickest way to make nine million dollars?

Date Simon Cowell.

What's the quickest way to a woman's heart?

The rib cage.