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What's the quickest way to lose pounds?

The UK National Lottery!

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What is the best way to lose money?

Lend it to Greece.

What do you call a ghost without any feet?

A lost sole

Pound Jokes More Pound Jokes

What happens when two dogs breed in a pound?

Dog pound dog pounds dog pound dog.

What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat?

Here Kitty kitty kitty'!

Quick Way Jokes More Quick Way Jokes

What's the quickest way to a man's heart?

Through the chest plate.

What's the quickest way to a woman's heart?

The rib cage.