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What's your opinion on birds?

Well, they're pretty fly if you ask me.

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How to tell the difference between a bad, a good and an excellent accountant?

When you ask them "2+2 is?":

What should I wear?

Mr. Salad asks. She replies, "It doesn't matter to me, just be well dressed."

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Why did the worm want to learn kung-fu?

So he could flip the bird

Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!

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What's your opinion on the mobius strip debate?

I find it a tad one-sided.

What do you call a woman with an opinion?

Wrong.