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What should you give a man who has everything?

A. A woman to show him how to work it.

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Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you call a man with a shovel on his head?

Dug

What do you call a man holding a machine gun?

Sir

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why don't you see many chemists with master's degrees working with acids and bases?

To really understand acids and bases, you need a pHd.

How are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do women and rocks have in common?

You can skip the flat ones.

What's the difference between a dog barking at the front door and a woman screaming at the back door?

If you let the dog in, it will shut up.

A. Jokes More A. Jokes

Why did the line dancer cross the dance floor?

A. To get to the other (Electric) Slide!

What do accountants use for birth-control?

A. Their personalities.