What were the odds that Matt Damon made it off Mars?

Astronomical

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Why is there no life on Mars?

No WiFi...

What on Earth did the NASA discover?

Nothing, it was on Mars

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Whats the odd one out?

The man on the moon? Santa Claus? Or an honest Lawyer? Yes you got it Santa. The other two are figments of the imagination.

Why was Phil Collins......never a good betting man?

Because he always went Against All Odds.

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What does Matt Damon call thrift shopping?

Goodwill Hunting.

What did the commander say when she realized that she had left Matt Damon on Mars?

I have left my Mark on Mars