Mar Jokes

What do you call a person who you had a one night stand with on Mars?

A solmate

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What did Mars say to Saturn?

Give me a ring sometime.

Why are there no cats on Mars?

Because there is no oxygen and they'd die from UV radiation, you idiot.

How did Mars feel when the colonists were approaching?

Terra-fied.

What was the first thing the stowaway to Mars said after he landed?

Just out of Curiosity...

What did the commander say when she realized that she had left Matt Damon on Mars?

I have left my Mark on Mars

Who says there's no life on Mars?

Why only today they found a Beagle!

What's the smallest drink you can order at a bar?

A mar tiny.

What were the odds that Matt Damon made it off Mars?

Astronomical

What quality does Elon Musk look for in a woman?

He just wants her to be down to Mars

What do you call a David Bowie tribute band made up of astro-arachnologists?

The Spiders from Mars

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Why is there no life on Mars?

No WiFi...

Why can't deer get marred?

Because they can't elope

What on Earth did the NASA discover?

Nothing, it was on Mars

What do you a Mars with water?

Wars

Why has Venus been so distant lately?

Mars answers "shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"

Why was NASA so interested on travelling to Mars?

Because it had their Curiosity.

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Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What do you call a party thrown by a Terrorist at a bar on a hot day in Hawaii?

A-lou-AK-bar.

What did the deaf bug order at the bar?

A Bee-Ear

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do you call two women standing side by side?

Four abreast!

How are women like KFC?

After your done munching on the breasts and thighs, you have a nice greasy box to put your bone in

Beagle Jokes More Beagle Jokes

Who says there's no life on Mars?

Why only today they found a Beagle!

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the man put a clock under his desk?

He wanted to work overtime.

What do condoms and taxes have in common?

Republicans are against them and democrats want more for schools.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How did the toad feel in the morning?

A little bit froggy

How can you tell if a Mexican is feeling sad?

They're wearing a SOMBERERO

Idiot Jokes More Idiot Jokes

What idiot invented fire blankets?

You'd think they'd be hot enough from the flames.

Why would it be difficult to be a police officer?

It would be tough to be an idiot all day long.

Mark Jokes More Mark Jokes

What did the commander say when she realized that she had left Matt Damon on Mars?

I have left my Mark on Mars

Why is your January report card so bad?

Son: Well you know how it is. Things are always marked down after Christmas!

Commander Jokes More Commander Jokes

Who is the commander of cheese?

Sargento

What did the commander say when she realized that she had left Matt Damon on Mars?

I have left my Mark on Mars