Mar Jokes

What do you call a person who you had a one night stand with on Mars?

A solmate

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What did Mars say to Saturn?

Give me a ring sometime.

How did Mars feel when the colonists were approaching?

Terra-fied.

What was the first thing the stowaway to Mars said after he landed?

Just out of Curiosity...

What did the commander say when she realized that she had left Matt Damon on Mars?

I have left my Mark on Mars

Who says there's no life on Mars?

Why only today they found a Beagle!

What's the smallest drink you can order at a bar?

A mar tiny.

What were the odds that Matt Damon made it off Mars?

Astronomical

What quality does Elon Musk look for in a woman?

He just wants her to be down to Mars

What do you call a David Bowie tribute band made up of astro-arachnologists?

The Spiders from Mars

Why is there no life on Mars?

No WiFi...

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Why can't deer get marred?

Because they can't elope

What on Earth did the NASA discover?

Nothing, it was on Mars

Why has Venus been so distant lately?

Mars answers "shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"

Why was NASA so interested on travelling to Mars?

Because it had their Curiosity.

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Night Jokes More Night Jokes

How Dave Grohl spent his night in his hotel room after the concert in Gothenburg, Sweden?

He watched movie Cast Away (starring Tom Hanks) and ate some potato chips.

Why did Thor decide to sleep in?

He was up all night to Get Loki.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What is the first thing they teach you at Gardening school?

WATERRR THOOOOOSSSSSEEEEE!!!!

How do you stick things together like Fred Flinstone?

You add a dab of glue.

Matt Damon Jokes More Matt Damon Jokes

What were the odds that Matt Damon made it off Mars?

Astronomical

What do you call a baby Matt Damon?

A new-Bourne

Land Jokes More Land Jokes

What was the first thing the stowaway to Mars said after he landed?

Just out of Curiosity...

What did the pints say upon landing on Planet Metric?

Take us to your liter.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What did the mama frog say to the baby frog when they left for a party?

You better amphi-BE-ON your best behavior.

How do you fit 4 guys on a bar stool?

Turn it upside-down. But how do you get them off Shake the stool. (OK, I'll leave now.)

Alien Jokes More Alien Jokes

What do you call an alien from Austria?

Austalian

Why haven't we found aliens yet?

Because they are searching for intelligent life too.

Bruno Mars Jokes More Bruno Mars Jokes

What do you call Bruno Mars?

Michael Jackson the third.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between Christmas music and Kobe Bryant?

Christmas music will still be playing next year.

What's the difference between a girl in church and a girl in a bubble bath?

The girl in church has her soul full of hope...