Mar Jokes

What did Mars say to Saturn?

Give me a ring sometime.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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How did Mars feel when the colonists were approaching?

Terra-fied.

What was the first thing the stowaway to Mars said after he landed?

Just out of Curiosity...

What did the commander say when she realized that she had left Matt Damon on Mars?

I have left my Mark on Mars

Who says there's no life on Mars?

Why only today they found a Beagle!

What's the smallest drink you can order at a bar?

A mar tiny.

What were the odds that Matt Damon made it off Mars?

Astronomical

What quality does Elon Musk look for in a woman?

He just wants her to be down to Mars

What do you call a David Bowie tribute band made up of astro-arachnologists?

The Spiders from Mars

Why is there no life on Mars?

No WiFi...

Why can't deer get marred?

Because they can't elope

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What on Earth did the NASA discover?

Nothing, it was on Mars

Why has Venus been so distant lately?

Mars answers "shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"

Why was NASA so interested on travelling to Mars?

Because it had their Curiosity.

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Spider Jokes More Spider Jokes

What did the spider say to the bee?

Your honey or your life!

How do people know spiders are more afraid of me than I am of them?

Like, did you ask him Because only one of us is screaming right now.

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What did the scientist say at the bar?

I'd like some H20 please.

Why did the chicken walk into the bar?

To screw in the lightbulb.

Land Jokes More Land Jokes

Why do SCUBA divers fall backwards out of boats?

Because if they fell forwards, they'd land in the boat.

What did the Mexican-American say when two houses landed on him?

Get off me holmes!

500 Jokes More 500 Jokes

What do you call it when a waiter at an internet cafe gets your order wrong?

500 Internal Server Error

What happened when the shoe factory burned down?

500 soles were lost.

Idiot Jokes More Idiot Jokes

How to make an idiot curious?

I'll post the answer tomorrow.

What do a pregnant teenager, frozen beer, and a burned pizza have in common?

Some idiot forgot to pull it out in time.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Who circles a dying gost in the desert?

Ghost buzzards

Where do burgers go when they die?

Burgatory

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What's the difference between a political speech and a stand-up comic show?

They both tell the audience what they are glad to hear. But at the end, the audience laughs at the comic, and the politician laughs at the audience.

Why did the scare crow win the award?

He was out standing in his field. This has Always been my favourite pun.

Bruno Mars Jokes More Bruno Mars Jokes

What do you call Bruno Mars?

Michael Jackson the third.