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What did the commander say when she realized that she had left Matt Damon on Mars?

I have left my Mark on Mars

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Who's there A gorgon. A gorgon who?

420 gaze it. Geddit. Because then you'd be stoned Okay, sorry I'll leave.

How do you get someone with a doctorate in philosophy to leave your house?

Just pay for your pizza.

Mar Jokes More Mar Jokes

What on Earth did the NASA discover?

Nothing, it was on Mars

Why is there no life on Mars?

No WiFi...

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

What's the worst part about making out with a perfect 10?

The cold feeling on your lips when you realize you're kissing the mirror

Why'd the guy panic and call 911 when he realized an ocean was forming around him?

It was an emergent sea.

Commander Jokes More Commander Jokes

Who likes music?

Asks a commander. - Two soldiers step forward. - All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor.

Why did all most of the black soldiers die in Vietnam?

When the commander yelled "GET DOWN", they all started dancing.

Mark Jokes More Mark Jokes

Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

What type of dog leaves a mark?

Shar pei

Matt Damon Jokes More Matt Damon Jokes

What does Matt Damon call thrift shopping?

Goodwill Hunting.

What do you call a baby Matt Damon?

A new-Bourne