Commander Jokes

Who is the commander of cheese?

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What did the commander say when she realized that she had left Matt Damon on Mars?

I have left my Mark on Mars

Why did all most of the black soldiers die in Vietnam?

When the commander yelled "GET DOWN", they all started dancing.

Who likes music?

Asks a commander. - Two soldiers step forward. - All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor.

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about.2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.

What do you call a red-head that works at a bakery?

A ginger bread man.

Shortcut Jokes More Shortcut Jokes

What do you call a cat who takes a shortcut in a race?

A Cheetah.

How do you make a shortcut?

With small scissors.

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

How's your love life?

Well, I went on a date. 45 minutes in I realized it was a turtle in a wig. "I'm sorry man" it's ok. still got laid.

How do you know when you are a drug addict?

When you realize that you have had 2 strepsils within one hour.

Command Officer Jokes More Command Officer Jokes

What does a clever sentry on guard duty say when he wakes up to see his commanding officer standing over him?

Amen

Iron Woman Jokes More Iron Woman Jokes

What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?

The first is a super hero, the second is a simple command.

Whats the difference between Iron Man and iron woman?

One is a superhero the other is a simple instruction

Command Jokes More Command Jokes

What's the difference between Iron Man And Iron Woman?

Iron Man is a superhero, Iron Woman is a command.

What command does the aardvark give most often when he sails?

Snout about!

Set Jokes More Set Jokes

How many calories does heartache burn?

Me: Depends on how many calories are in the person you are setting on fire.

Why does the sun set at night?

The moon scares the daylights out of it!

Peg Leg Jokes More Peg Leg Jokes

What do you call a flight commandeered by pirates?

A peg leg.

Why was the 'P' irate?

Because his peg leg made him go 'R'