Donald Jokes

What's The Donald's favourite keyboard shortcut?

Command Alt Right.

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What do you call a president who interrupts people?

Donald Tr- WRONG!

What's Donald's true political party?

Whig

What's the difference between Donald and a piece of fruit?

Oranges have thick skin. Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one! Edit: Did not expect this joke to get this good of a reception. Thanks, guys!

What does Melania disagree with Donald on?

Anchor babes.

What do you call a show about The Donald winning the presidency?

Orange is the New Black

What did the Secret Service agent say to the President-elect when someone tried to take a shot at him?

Donald, Duck!

Who's no chicken?

Donald Duck.

Why are you upset?

Her: Me: Was it the Donald- Her: Yes, it was the Donald Duck voice.

What did Hillary say when she bumped into Donald after the election?

Pardon me

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Donald Trunk Jokes More Donald Trunk Jokes

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

Why did the priest cross the road?

To screw in the children that were crossing the road

What do you call innocent women and children dying in the middle east?

Freedom

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Where does monty python buy his water?

From the knights Da-sa(y)-NI! This joke is best delivered verbally.

What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake?

I've been really stressed out lately, I know it's not your fault, but please stop cracking jokes about me

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many political parties does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two, one to change the lightbulb, and the other to bask in the light of the old one.

How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb?

One to unscrew it, and one to hold the ladder.

Reception Jokes More Reception Jokes

Why didn't the cellphone attend the wedding?

He heard the reception was going to be terrible...

Why did AT&ampT have the worst wedding?

No reception.

Mickey Mouse Jokes More Mickey Mouse Jokes

Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space?

He wanted to find Pluto!

Why did Mickey Mouse name his dog Pluto?

Because he's not a planet.

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

Why did Rodney Dangerfield always make such unbalanced RPG characters?

He never got no respec. *edited to make grammar worse

How does Walter Palmer like his eggs?

Poached. Thank you, I'm here all week. EDIT: this got no upvotes and I don't think it deserved any

Peace Jokes More Peace Jokes

What is the opposite of peace?

Is the question.

Why do you want to be Jedi?

Imagines using 'the force' to steal everyone's cats and building a cat army To keep the peace