Donald Jokes

What's The Donald's favourite keyboard shortcut?

Command Alt Right.

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What do you call a president who interrupts people?

Donald Tr- WRONG!

What's Donald's true political party?

Whig

What's the difference between Donald and a piece of fruit?

Oranges have thick skin. Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one! Edit: Did not expect this joke to get this good of a reception. Thanks, guys!

What does Melania disagree with Donald on?

Anchor babes.

What do you call a show about The Donald winning the presidency?

Orange is the New Black

What did the Secret Service agent say to the President-elect when someone tried to take a shot at him?

Donald, Duck!

Who's no chicken?

Donald Duck.

Why are you upset?

Her: Me: Was it the Donald- Her: Yes, it was the Donald Duck voice.

What did Hillary say when she bumped into Donald after the election?

Pardon me

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Good Jokes More Good Jokes

Whats the best part about sleeping with a midget?

You're sure to get a little head

What's the best part about Switzerland?

I don't know, but their flag's a plus.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What would she do for $20?

Wasn't there a joke before posted about asking what a girl would do for $20 or something A dirty joke I'm trying to find it but I can't....

What do bad dancers have in common with Michael J Fox trying to use the soft serve ice cream machine?

They both have a hard time pulling off a twist.

Disagree Jokes More Disagree Jokes

What do you call a horse who disagrees with you?

Glue.

What do you call someone who is always disagreeing with their calculator?

A chronic math debater

Presidency Jokes More Presidency Jokes

What do you call a show about The Donald winning the presidency?

Orange is the New Black

Who do you see winning the presidency in 4 years?

I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision.

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What do electric trains and women's breasts have in common?

They were originally intended for children but it's the men who play with them the most.

What is the third child's name?

Timothy.

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

Why do they thank me in the cafeteria when I pay for my food like I had a choice?

Just tell me "enjoy the diarrhea" and I'll move along.

Why do programmers think Halloween's the same as Christmas?

Because 31OCT == 25DEC (thank you very much)

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

What does a geography graduate do with a lightbulb?

Not get a job.

How many yankees fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They'll just stand in the dark talking about how good the old one was.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What did the man say when he couldn't get the gun to fire?

Looks like I'm gonna have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual.

What do you call a camera that shoots out true facts about an ancient Phoenician city?

A Canon, Canaan-canon cannon... (I'm not sorry...)