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Sh Jokes

What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl?

One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh...

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes
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Notice Jokes More Notice Jokes

What was the first thing Hellen Keller noticed at the beach?

The volleyball net.

What phone etiquette?

You hand me your phone, you better believe I'ma hurry & scroll through as many pics as I can before you notice.

Poope Jokes More Poope Jokes

What did the French guy say when a bird pooped on him?

I have Grey Poupon me

What do you call some who's too pooped to Pope?

Ex-Benedict

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How old do I look?

9yo: 30 Aww, you deserve ice crea- 9yo: Just like grandma -m but too bad you're not getting any

Why did the nurse always insist on using the rectal thermometer to obtain temperatures?

Because nurses are taught in nursing school to always look for her patient's best side.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How long have you been in pain?

Women: It started at 7:45am on Monday while I was at work Men: Sometime between yesterday and 1997

What if my knees start to hurt?

Me to instructor: See what I'm up against

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Why could Jimmy not drive a tractor?

Because he had no arms or legs. Why Because he is a potato.

What kind of cars do jedis drive?

A toy-

Wonder Jokes More Wonder Jokes

What does a dyslexic, agnostic insomniac do at night?

Lie in bed wondering "Is there really a dog?"

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, dyslexic, and an agnostic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

Peace Jokes More Peace Jokes

What were the martyr's last words?

I believe in peace in our time

What did the stamp say to the envelope?

Stick with me man... We'll go places. Peace. Hmath out.

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What do you call a deer with no eyes that isn't moving?

Still no idea.

How do you know a girl with leprosy likes you?

She gives you the eye.