March Madness Sale - 25% Off

Why do you hold your hand flat above your eyes when you look into the distance?

Because when you would cover your eyes with your hand, you wouldn't see sh*t. I'm lame.

Previous Random Joke Next
Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What military rank do you hold while using a pay toilet?

Lieutenant

How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How do people look at the internet?

Me: How Him: With their google-y eyes

What's the difference between up and down?

It all depends on how you look at it

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why do you ask for my daughters hand in marriage?

Do NOT say:"Because I am tired of using my own"

What do hand grenades and wives have in common?

Remove the ring and your house is gone.

Cover Jokes More Cover Jokes

How much for the mirror?

Ma'am that's the cover of Vogue

Why were the Three Wise Men covered in soot?

Because they came from afar.

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

Why were the sandwich fillers eyes too close together?

Because he was in-bread.

Why do Iraqi police officers walk in threes?

The first knows how to read the second knows how to write and the third is to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.

Distance Jokes More Distance Jokes

How did you travel such a distance so fast?

I went through a wormhole." Worms in the audience: Omg this is so unrealistic.

Why did the bald man draw rabbits on his head?

Because from a distance they looked like hares.

Sht Jokes More Sht Jokes

Why do you hold your hand flat above your eyes when you look into the distance?

Because when you would cover your eyes with your hand, you wouldn't see sh*t. I'm lame.

Why does Wonder Woman fly?

Because she can't drive for sh*t.