Command Jokes

What's the difference between Iron Man And Iron Woman?

Iron Man is a superhero, Iron Woman is a command.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

How is working in I.T. like being a wizard?

You command vast powers beyond the scope of smaller minds, but to them all you do is wiggle your fingers and stuff just happens.

What's the difference between iron-man and iron woman?

One is a superhero and the other is a command.

What is the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman?

Ironman is a superhero, Ironwoman is a command.

What command does the aardvark give most often when he sails?

Snout about!

What is the difference between Ironman and Iron woman?

One is a super hero and the other is a command.

What does a clever sentry on guard duty say when he wakes up to see his commanding officer standing over him?

Amen

Who is second in command in the kitchen at a Native American owned restaurant?

The Sioux chef

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What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead lawyer on the road?

The dead cat has skid marks around it.

How do Religious Education teachers mark exams?

With spirit levels.

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Why is Ironman a superhero?

And Ironwoman a command?

What do you get when a superhero has to use the restroom?

A comic relief.

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Why were the witch and wizard always kissing each other's necks?

Because they were neckromancers

What do you call a wizard that puts people to sleep?

Dumblebore

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Whats the last thing you give a tickle me Elmo before it leaves the factory?

Two test-tickles.

Where do frogs leave their hats and coats?

In the croakroom!

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Whats the difference between me and Jimmy Fallon?

I can get through his opening monologue without laughing

What's the difference between math and meth?

One of them ruins your life. The other's just meth.

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What does a clever sentry on guard duty say when he wakes up to see his commanding officer standing over him?

Amen

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How does a Chinese family name their children?

They throw 3-9 pots and pans down a flight of stairs.

How long is the flight?

A Polish man calls up an airline. "How long is the flight from Chicago to Warsaw?" "One minute..." "Thank you."

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Why can't deer get marred?

Because they can't elope

Why is there no life on Mars?

No WiFi...