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Where does King Kong sleep?

Anywhere he wants to.

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What did you do before you were married sir?

*with teary eyes* whatever the hell i wanted to do...

Why did Julius Caesar want to quit politics?

All that backstabbing was too much for him.

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What's the difference between light and hard?

You can sleep with a light on.

How'd you sleep?

Him: *texts* Horrible...I was tossing and turn- Me: *crawls out from under his bed* I KNOW, YOU POOR THING.

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Why did King Kong go to the airport?

He had a plane to catch.

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a giant frog?

A monster that climbs up the Empire State Building and catches aeroplanes with its tongue.