King Kong Jokes

What month was King Kong born in?

Ape-ril

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How do you catch King Kong?

Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.

Why did King Kong.... Climb the Empire State Building?

He couldn't fit in the elevator.

What did King Kong say when he saw the Statue of Liberty?

Are you my mother

Why is King Kong big and hairy?

So you can tell him apart from a gooseberry.

Why did King Kong join the army?

To learn about gorilla warfare.

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a watchdog?

A terrified postman.

What should you do if you are on a picnic with King Kong?

Give him the biggest bananas.

What do you do if King Kong sits in front of you at the cinema?

Miss most of the film!

What do you get if King Kong sits on your piano?

A flat note.

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a budgie?

A messy cage.

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How much did King Kong get paid for his latest movie?

A gorillian dollars

What's brown and furry on the inside and clear on the outside?

King Kong in clingfilm

What do you get if King Kong sits on your best friend?

A flat mate.

Where does King Kong sleep?

Anywhere he wants to.

What is as big as King Kong but doesn't weigh anything?

King Kong's shadow.

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a giant frog?

A monster that climbs up the Empire State Building and catches aeroplanes with its tongue.

What do you do if you fiend King Kong in the kitchen?

Just don't monkey with him.

What business is King Kong in?

Monkey business.

What did the big ape say when he dialed incorrectly?

Oops! King Kong ring wrong.

Why didn't King Kong go to Hong Kong?

He didn't like Chinese food.

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What do you get if King Kong falls down a mine shaft?

A flat miner.

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a snowman?

Frostbite.

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What goes "Tick Tock, woof woof"?

A watchdog.

Why does the Hound of the Baskervilles turn round and round before he lies down for the night?

Because he's the watchdog and he has to wind himself up.

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What kind of tea did the American colonists want?

Liberty

What did King Kong say when he saw the Statue of Liberty?

Are you my mother

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Why are Eskimos always alone?

Because they like being ice-olated

Why do vampire's use linux?

Because they don't like windows in their house. BaDumTss

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How do animals cross the ocean?

On a Gir-raft.

What do you get if you cross a bee with a parrot?

An animal that's always telling you how busy it is!

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What do you call inexplicably missing aioli?

Awoli.

Where are the posters?

WIFE: THEY JUST DISAPPEARED! In other room *cat is furiously stuffing missing dog posters into paper shredder*

Fit Jokes More Fit Jokes

Why are outdoor workers so in fit?

Cause they work out.

How many ants can you fit inside an apartment?

Ten-ants!

Month Jokes More Month Jokes

What are a gorilla's favorite months?

Ape-ril and Bananuary

What is the Rebel Alliance's least favorite month?

The Imperial March.

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

Why did the mother bear ask the baby bear to wear shoes before he ran through the forest?

Because he was barefooted!!!

What is with 2016?

It's like everyone and their mothers are dying. sorry not sorry