Who's got two thumbs and finds this joke funny?

Not this guy!" -Thumb amputee victim

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor?

Where's my tractor?

Where do you usually find dogs?

It all depends on where you lose them.

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What do you call a guy that steals burgers?

A hamburglar!

What rock group has four guys and no singers?

Mt. Rushmore! Happy presidents day!

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Why is a cow that he jumps?

Because he higher and higher. (I translated the joke from Dutch, and yeah it's supposed to not make any sense, it just sounds funny, in Dutch at least. :-$)

Why do people at work always laugh at my jokes?

Because they're paid to.

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Who has one thumb and isn't allowed to use the table saw anymore?

This guy.

Why can't an elephant ride a bicycle?

Because he doesn't have a thumb to ring the bell.