Why did the vampire go to the doctors?

Because he was coffin...

How do you estimate your kids lifespan?

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

How bad are they?

Doctor: It depends, how old are you Patient: I will be 24 soon. Doctor: Pffff, no you won't.

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

What's the difference between a vampire and a cookie?

You can't dip a vampire in your tea.

What should you do if a vampire borrows your comic?

Wait for him to give it back.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What is the difference between a cello and a coffin?

The coffin has the corpse on the inside.

What do a coffin and a condom have in common?

They're both filled with stiffs one's coming one's going.