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Medicine Jokes

Where do Amish people go to get medicine?

To the farmacy.

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What kind of medicine do you give a kid having a fit?

An anti-hissy-tamine.

What kind of medicine do Ants use when they have eye problems?

Ant-Eye Biotics (Dad joke, I know)

What do you call alternative medicine that works?

Medicine.

Why do pigs run from medicine?

They hate getting cured.

Why didn't the guy with ADHD take his medicine?

He forgot.

What kind of medicine do bears take?

Bayer Asprin

What did the head trauma patients do when the price of medicine went up?

They went on stroke.

Why does your little brother jump up and down before taking his medicine?

Boy: Because he read the label and it said 'shake well before using.'

Why did Dracula need medicine?

Because he was coffin.

What medicine would you give an ill ant?

Antibiotics!

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What did people start calling the medical school that allowed animals to study medicine?

The hippocampus.

What kind of medicine does Dracula take for a cold?

Coffin medicine.

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Dracula Jokes More Dracula Jokes

What do you think of Dracula films?

Fangtastic!

What does Dracula say when you tell him a new fact?

Well fangcy that!

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

How many do I need to get an Xbox?

Sir, that's not how Toys for Tots works." "FALSE ADVERTISING!"

Why are there exactly two hundred and thirty nine beans in an Irish Bean Soup?

Because if there were one more, it'd be two forty. (Too farty) This works much better when spoken out loud. The joke how Irish people pronounce "forty."

French Jokes More French Jokes

Why was Les miserable?

He was French.

Why are French guns the best to buy?

They've never been fired, and only dropped once.

Drug Jokes More Drug Jokes

Who takes the most drugs?

The police.

What performance enhancing drugs do penguins use?

Polaroids

Amish People Jokes More Amish People Jokes

Where do Amish people go to get medicine?

To the farmacy.

What do Amish people catch when they start using technology?

Mennonitis!

Ant Jokes More Ant Jokes

What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?

Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead annnnnnnnttt.

What was the aardvark's favorite Lady Gaga song?

Just Ants. Credit: My friend, the PUNisher.

Forget Jokes More Forget Jokes

Why didn't the guy with ADHD take his medicine?

He forgot.

How will I ever find the right woman?

She replied "Forget finding the right woman, focus on being the right man."

Sell Jokes More Sell Jokes

What's the fastest way to make money as a guitarist?

By selling your guitar.

Why was the man selling CDs at 12:30 a.m.?

Because his mixtape was to die for...