Medicine Jokes

Where do Amish people go to get medicine?

To the farmacy.

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What kind of medicine do you give a kid having a fit?

An anti-hissy-tamine.

What kind of medicine do Ants use when they have eye problems?

Ant-Eye Biotics (Dad joke, I know)

What do you call alternative medicine that works?

Medicine.

Why do pigs run from medicine?

They hate getting cured.

Why didn't the guy with ADHD take his medicine?

He forgot.

What kind of medicine do bears take?

Bayer Asprin

What did the head trauma patients do when the price of medicine went up?

They went on stroke.

Why does your little brother jump up and down before taking his medicine?

Boy: Because he read the label and it said 'shake well before using.'

Why did Dracula need medicine?

Because he was coffin.

What medicine would you give an ill ant?

Antibiotics!

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What did people start calling the medical school that allowed animals to study medicine?

The hippocampus.

What kind of medicine does Dracula take for a cold?

Coffin medicine.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What's the difference between a married man and a bachelor?

A bachelor will go to the fridge, sees nothing he wants, and go to bed A married man will go the bed, sees nothing he wants, and go the fridge!

What's the last thing you want to hear right after you get done blowing Willie Nelson?

I ain't Willie Nelson.

Point Jokes More Point Jokes

Why can't you ever answer any of my questions?

Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn't be much point in me being here!

What are the chances of familiarising myself with a semiaquatic amphibian to the point of ownership?

My newt.

Send Jokes More Send Jokes

What kind of cards do donkeys send out near Christmas?

Mule-tide greetings.

What did the terrorist send in the mail?

A CAIR package.

Sell Jokes More Sell Jokes

Why won't Apple's new MacBook sell well?

Because it has NO FANS!!! (get it no fans... thank you!! don't forget to tip your server.)

What do you call a man who sells clockwork toys?

A Wind-up Merchant.

Sleep Pill Jokes More Sleep Pill Jokes

Why did the blonde tip toe near the medicine cabinet?

Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!

Why did the old man sneak past the cupboard?

He didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills.

Black Man Jokes More Black Man Jokes

Why did the black man try to break into jail?

He wanted to be with his family.

Why was the black man arrested?

Good question.

Africa Jokes More Africa Jokes

Whats the most popular breakfast food in Africa?

Ebola cereal!

Where'd you get him?

The parrot replies, "Africa".

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What did the dead blues musician sing?

Didn't wake up this morning...

Why do I always seem to start my day backwards?

I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake