Medicine Jokes

Where do Amish people go to get medicine?

To the farmacy.

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What kind of medicine do you give a kid having a fit?

An anti-hissy-tamine.

What kind of medicine do Ants use when they have eye problems?

Ant-Eye Biotics (Dad joke, I know)

What do you call alternative medicine that works?

Medicine.

Why do pigs run from medicine?

They hate getting cured.

What kind of medicine do bears take?

Bayer Asprin

Why does your little brother jump up and down before taking his medicine?

Boy: Because he read the label and it said 'shake well before using.'

Why did Dracula need medicine?

Because he was coffin.

What medicine would you give an ill ant?

Antibiotics!

What did people start calling the medical school that allowed animals to study medicine?

The hippocampus.

What kind of medicine does Dracula take for a cold?

Coffin medicine.

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What will you have, Sir?

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What do Mexicans use with the Wii-U?

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What kind of guns do bees use?

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What's a rappers shirt made out of?

Strait out of cotton

What feels good in the west but feels cotton in the East?

Happi-ness

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How do mathematicians cure constipation?

They work it out with a pencil.

What's the cure for world hunger?

Food

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When is an aardvark jumpy?

When he's got ants in his pants!

How many ants does it take to rent a house?

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What tick likes to run?

Politicks

Why are there no Mexican in the Olympics?

Because any Mexican that can run, jump or swim is in america!