Why didn't John die?

John is a bird.

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Die Jokes More Die Jokes

How many cynics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Doesn't matter. Lightbulb is going to die anyway.

What did the necrophiliac get after his wife died?

Mourning wood.

Bird Jokes More Bird Jokes

What did the bird say when he flew over K-Mart?

Caw Caw why'd my natural habitat get replaced with 165 000 square feet of consumerist wasteland

What do you get when you cross a Doberman with a bird?

A Doberman fincher!

John Jokes More John Jokes

What did one John say to the other John?

What's the matter You look flushed!

Why don't you talk to John anymore, you used to be best friends?

Son: Well, would you be friends with someone who was stupid, took drugs and was drunk all the time? Mom: No, Never! Son: Well neither would he!