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What did the necrophiliac get after his wife died?

Mourning wood.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the difference between this morning and your wife?

I'm not coming in *this morning*

What is headache?

5 minutes talk to wife.

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

How did Pinocchio realize he was made of wood?

His hand caught on fire.

Why do we call lady parts beavers?

Because they devour wood.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What happens when the Pope dies?

Another one popes up.

Why do men, on average, die before women?

Because they want to.

Mourn Jokes More Mourn Jokes

How do you know if you're a necrophiliac?

You get mourning wood.

What do you call a sad tree?

Mourning wood

Necrophiliac Jokes More Necrophiliac Jokes

How do you spot a necrophiliac at a funeral?

Mourning wood.

How do you know if you are a necrophiliac?

You get mourning wood